Consumer or True Friend

What does it mean to be friend. It certainly does mean to honestly honor the other person and want to be with them, although some good friends can be separated for a time and still be close. To be a friend means to add to the person’s life, not just use them or manipulate them. If a friend is always taking and not giving, we call that a toxic friend or a friend that drains the other person of emotional energy. There are way too many takers today.

Jesus called those who are in Him as friends. Jesus said, “No longer do I call you servants, for the servant does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you friends, for all that I have heard from my Father I have made known to you” (John 15:15). God could have just programed us to respond to Him only as Lord, even though he is Lord, but he also calls us into friendship. James Houston wrote a beautiful book called, The Transforming Friendship. What kind of friend are we to Jesus? It is unlikely we will not learn to be a true friend until we first learn friendship from Jesus.

We live in a consumer culture. The culture is first and foremost interested in self interests. Many of the churches and Christians in general have been influenced by the consumer culture and have taken this approach to Jesus and to others. They have never stepped into the culture of ministry, similar to Jesus. Unfortunately, spiritual gluttony has become a lifestyle without living the gospel out. These people are only takers and users rather than givers.

Do we value Jesus? He has served us in a way that we can not even come close to, even, if we were to give our life for Him. He is God incarnate in Jesus and suffered and bled and died at the hands of His own creation to take the just penalty of our sin, on the cross that we might, if we receive Him be united intimately to God. Jesus said,” You are my friends if you do what I command you” (John 15:14). If a human friend said this, we would believe them to be trying to manipulative us. However, Jesus calls us to walk in love, His kind of love. This involves trust in Him and loyalty to Him. It also believes that His way is the way to fulness of life and love. Following His way is an act of trust, love and loyalty.

It is easy to love someone when things are going well for us and there are few problems. It is another to love when things don’t go our way and it gets tuff and love is stretched to the limit. The Bible says, “A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity” (Proverbs 17:17). When another person adds a lot to our life it is easy to be their friend. It is quite another matter when we must love them in adversity and live out Jesus’ way of friendship.

Unfortunately, many churches are making customers rather disciples. If the church isn’t teaching what some people believe is not appealing to their flesh, they just go to another one that will accommodate them. They don’t want to have sin identified even though God’s grace comes alongside to redeem and transform, they want to hear how good they are. The don’t want the whole gospel they just want the pleasant gospel. Jesus said, “For the whole law is fulfilled in one word: “You shall love your neighbor as yourself” (Galatians 5:14). Imagine what churches would be if the majority of the church practised this. God’s love not just man’s, incomplete, distorted and limited love. Jesus said, “By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another” (John 13:35). A church can have a culture of control, fear, manipulation a worldly kind of love or the love of God. This happens when spiritual and earthily friends get to know one another, guard confidences and lift up one another, adding to each other lives in Christian love.

We need to grow spiritually, but our growth is mostly our responsibility for cultivating our spiritual growth by Bible reading, prayer and making much room in our life for God. People will do good to others because it makes them feel good, but Jesus calls us to even go beyond this and love with a selfless love like Jesus. A selfless love is a high calling and can only truly be learned and experience in God’s grace as we walk with Jesus.

Are we takers, users and consumers or are we truly a friend of Jesus? If we are we will love and serve like Jesus. We will give our life for the advancement of God’s kingdom in Jesus. Are you and I lovers of Jesus?

Nothing can change our culture like being a friend of Jesus and learning to love with a selfless love and with the wisdom and grace of Jesus. Nothing will change our character like truly loving Jesus. Love for Jesus will result in actions that glorify the Father, similar to how Jesus lived and gave His life for others.

Jesus calls us to love Him in the church and as a witness to the world and by acts of kindness and goodness. What kind of friend are we? The church is not to follow the culture but to be distinct in Jesus. The church is a counter-culture when it practices true friendship. Envy, pride and jealousy have no place in the church and when this is the case people will flourish and lives will be built up and spiritual gifts and talents used to the glory of God.

There are people who just want to use us and take from us. We have to be wise in dealing with these kinds of people. Unfortunately, today most of our culture is that way including the church. Jesus said, “But Jesus did not commit Himself to them, because He knew all men” (John 2:24). Man tries to manipulate even God, but God may accommodate people at times, but He will not allow us to manipulate Him.

Jesus also stressed the importance of doing good to His friends. He said, “Whoever receives you receives me, and whoever receives me receives him who sent me. The one who receives a prophet because he is a prophet will receive a prophet's reward, and the one who receives a righteous person because he is a righteous person will receive a righteous person's reward. And whoever gives one of these little ones even a cup of cold water because he is a disciple, truly, I say to you, he will by no means lose his reward” (Mathew 10:40-42). Many of the prophets where ignored, jailed, tortured and killed. Consider Jeremiah and Isaiah just to name a couple. God’s people did not recognize and give honor to the Godly people in their midst. Some of the Jewish people didn’t even recognize the activity of God in Jesus Christ. Godly people it seems are often not recognized or honored. Instead, we recognize the glitz and glamor and the razzle dazzle. This scripture is saying we should recognize Godly people and that there is great reward in recognizing them including Godly leadership. Jesus said, “O Jerusalem, Jerusalem, the city that kills the prophets and stones those who are sent to it! How often would I have gathered your children together as a hen gathers her brood under her wings, and you were not willing!” (Matthew 23:37).

Do we recognize and honor the world’s ways or do we honor and treasure God’s way and God’s friends? One day we will give account. Judas wasn’t a friend of Jesus. He sold Jesus out for money--30 pieces of silver. He also might have thought he could force Jesus to become the political leader Judas thought the Christ should be. Man thinks that he can handle being God better than God Himself.

At the end of your days, will people think of you as a consumer or one who made a difference in people’s lives to the glory of God? Are you primarily a consumer, manipulator and user or are you a true friend? Is all your life transactional or do you live with others and related to God with a heart that has been purified by God as you walk with Him? Jesus said, “Blessed are the pure in heart for they shall see God” (Matthew 5:8). God calls us also to a selfless love. It is not to late to change our overall approach to life, to God and to others. Eternity is a long time. How will you be recognized by God in eternity?