Love and Suffering

You have to be vulnerable enough to love. You must be willing to suffer to love. We could guard ourselves against any hurt, after all we have been hurt before, let down by others and betrayed. Some have chosen this path. They live a very safe life and they may choose not to love anyone deeply and to play it safe, so safe that no one can hurt them or can hurt them much. This is one option to life and it is vey sterile and lonely, but it is becoming more and more popular in our culture.

We may have tried to reach out in love but we have been rejected. This did not feel good so we put up all kinds of fences to prevent being rejected and often this is done by rejecting others. Is this the way to abundant life? I think not. It is a way to existence but not to life.

Let’s consider Jesus the man of love. In the Bible He is described as a man of sorrows. The word of God says of the coming Messiah Jesus, “He is despised and rejected by men, A Man of sorrows and acquainted with grief. And we hid, as it were, our faces from Him; He was despised, and we did not esteem Him” (Isaiah 53:3) Did He live an abundant life?

Jesus is the definition of love, yet He had to suffer. Again, the Scriptures state, “In this is love, not that we loved God, but that He loved us and sent His Son to be the propitiation for our sins” (1 John 4:10) Apparently love requires suffering at times. He is the propitiation for our sins. What a beautiful word is propitiation. He was the love sacrifice to satisfy divine justice in accordance with God’s character which is love, holiness and justice combined. Propitiation’s foundation is truth.

If you love you will suffer at times. Jesus suffered because He in love cared. He wept over Jerusalem because of His people’s hard hearts, like we weep over those today who refuse to come to the one who can heal them spiritually and one day heal them completely. (Matthew 23:37; Luke 19:41) He wept with those who lost Lazarus even thought He raised him physically from the dead. (John 11:35) When we have the heart of Jesus we will weep over the lost and for those caught up in the foolishness of the world. We may not weep physically but we will be burdened for them and will seek to make a difference in their lives. We not only care for ourselves but care for others and this does sometimes involve suffering and inconvenience.

Jesus when rejected did not reject. He loved His own creation even when they nailed him to the cross and in his anguish ministered to those on the other crosses. When He was mistreated, He continued to love.

This doesn’t mean being a doormat to people and being okay with people who want to manipulate, use us and abuse us. Sometimes helping hurts people when they instead need to take responsibility and sharing the truth in love can cause division, as least for a time.

God knows what it is to suffer. Consider the horrible state of the world right now and the dishonor shown to Him in the Trinity, Father, Son and Holy Spirit. Suffering doesn’t change His character as represented in the cross, but love involves suffering.

We must be vulnerable enough to love and wise enough to manage our responses and the responses of others. However, only when we are walking in God’s grace can we face these kinds of challenges and it helps to be very secure in our identity in Christ. People are not rejecting us but Jesus, when we go in His grace and share His gospel. When you really know the truth, it is not devastating if people reject it, mock or ridicule you. If we are fully confident in the truth it doesn’t greatly effect us. Christians live in the truth, for Jesus is the truth. (John 14:6)

If we love we will need to forgive and be willing to extend love wisely even if it is rejected. We must also remember wisdom and seek to minister to people rather than just feel good about ourselves when we think we are helping. Love is an art and it takes a lifetime to learn and practice.

Tim Keller said, “We must forgive to do justice rightly.” Jesus on the cross said, “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they do” (Luke 23:34). Unless we forgive from out heart first, we do not deal with justice correctly. We deal with it with vengeance and thus bitterness. Jesus extends forgiveness and deals with justice for our sin on a cross as He bore the penalty of our sin that we justly deserved. Only when we receive His gift of life humbly with repentance of sin and faith in Jesus Christ are we assured of heaven.

The Bible says of Jesus, “who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame” (Hebrews 12:2) There is great joy in love. He wasn’t a sadist He didn’t enjoy the shame. He despised it but loved anyway. Jesus suffered a great deal to provide His love to those who receive Him as Savior and Lord. Heaven will be a place of great love and joy. Love is also the way of freedom. We can also experience His love and joy here as well to a certain extent. God knows there is no love without suffering—do we?

Hell is a place without love and joy. Man will be left to Himself without the common grace that he enjoys in this life. There will be nothing but evil there. It doesn’t take a lot of common sense to want to go to heaven rather than hell. We can be accepted by God for heaven when we come in true repentance and faith is Jesus Christ as Savior and Lord. (Genesis 4:7)

For those who love God that is those born again of His Spirit, even their past failures, sin and bad chooses God can turn around and use for His good. We cause much of our own suffering by not honoring God, loving Him and walking in His way, trusting Him and therefore making foolish choices. In spite of this deserved suffering God can use it for our good and the good of others. (Romans 8:28). Even the suffering we deserve God can turn around. His love is greater than our bad choices, our sins and mistakes.

Love and suffering go together. God certainly suffers when we don’t choose the narrow path of fulness. We think the world will bring us the satisfaction we long for, but it is only a façade in the end. However, never think you can manipulate God. If the Father, Son and Holy Spirit can suffer in love so can we. This is the way of love. Let us instead seek to honor Jesus, serve Him and love Him.

There was a person in the parable of the ten talents that Jesus explained that played it safe and buried his talent in the ground. In the parable Jesus says, “But his lord answered and said to him, ‘You wicked and lazy servant, you knew that I reap where I have not sown, and gather where I have not scattered seed. So, you ought to have deposited my money with the bankers, and at my coming I would have received back my own with interest. So, take the talent from him, and give it to him who has ten talents.

‘For to everyone who has, more will be given, and he will have abundance; but from him who does not have, even what he has will be taken away. And cast the unprofitable servant into the outer darkness. There will be weeping and gnashing of teeth” (Matthew 25:26-30) Is this what you want the Lord to say to you when you have to give account or do you want Him to say, “‘Well done, good and faithful servant; you have been faithful over a few things, I will make you ruler over many things. Enter into the joy of your lord” (Matthew 25:23).