Managing Our Expectations and the Expectations of Others.

We all have expectations of ourselves and others. Some are quite selfish; in that we want people to be and behave as greatly benefits us and at time we can be quite unrealistic. Others may have the same kind of expectations of us. How we manage these expectations is critically important especially in marriage or in community.

The Jewish people in Jesus’ time had the expectation that the Messiah would set up a political kingdom and this kingdom would be a kingdom of political and military power. Jesus dealt with these expectations of the Jewish people as well as His own family, by not giving in to them. Satan also tempted Jesus with success, vanity and popularity in the wilderness temptation. (Matthew 4:1-10)

God had a much bigger plan than the people had in Jesus’ day and people may have today. The point however, is that Jesus didn’t let other people’s expectations and even his own family control Him. (John 7:5; Matthew 12:46-49) He instead was about the Father’s business and was going to do God’s will, God’s way.

The expectations of the world are that to be successful we must have a lot of money and possessions. After all we want to be comfortable and secure for ourselves and our family. Jesus said, “Foxes have holes, and birds of the air have nests, but the Son of Man has nowhere to lay his head” (Matthew 8:20) Jesus gave us his comfort and security to go to the cross. What have we given up to follow Him?

The world thought Jesus was a failure, but He was the most successful person who ever lived. He made the ultimate difference for mankind and made it possible for all people to go to heaven instead of hell, if they receive Jesus Christ as their personal Lord and Savior. He didn’t succumb to the expectations of the world, but to the Father. He loved the Father far more than the world and its idea of success.

Some expectations are good in that we desire that we and others be ethical and be true to what is right and not to what is wrong. Jesus said, “Do not judge by appearances, but judge with right judgment” (John 7:24) Of course we are to work hard and be responsible. (2 Thessalonians 3:10)

In the Old Testament King Saul gave into the expectations of himself and the crowd. Saul waited for seven days for Samuel to come and offer the sacrifices to God to recognized God’s Lordship in the battle. The Jewish army began to scatter for the challenge was great. He must have thought that it was politically expedient to act, so Saul didn’t wait for the prophet Samuel but offered the sacrifices himself. It wasn’t his place to offer the sacrifices it was Samuel’s. There were dire consequences for this action. God was going to remove Saul from being King and replace Him. Saul had given into his political understanding and the expectations of others and was impatient. Being impatient of God’s timing can get us into all kinds of dire consequences. (1 Samuel 13:8-15)

The story is also told of how a military man reached out to stop the Ark of the Covenant from falling off the cart onto the ground. God immediately took this man’s life. King David was struggling with this act by God. It says that David was angry. However, the Ark of the Covenant is only to be handled by those who were sanctified and these were the Priests in the Old Testament. God is holy and doesn’t change even with man’s good intentions. (2 Samuel 6:6) After this incident David had an enlarged respect for the holiness of God.

We can have all kinds of wrong expectations also of God. God is holy, just, righteous and love. To get to know God, get to know His Word in the Bible very well and learn to put it all together. To do this we also must learn to apply good principles of interpretation. As well, we need get to know the leading of the Holy Spirit by practice and listening and then responding.

Wise pastors in pre-martial counseling of couples will also deal with expectations of the couples in marriage. We need very much need to manage our expectations of others and ourselves. When they are unrealistic and overly focused on self we need to correct them.

What does God expect of us? He expects us to receive His invitation at great cost to Himself to receive the gift of salvation in Jesus Christ. We can be accepted by God through faith in Jesus Christ. Faith in Jesus is not just to believe about Jesus but to place our faith in Him to save us from the power and penalty of sin, through cross. We will know we are saved when we receive the Holy Spirit. (Romans 8:16)

Come just as you are. Christianity is received not achieved. After coming to Christ, we must grow in grace and knowledge and this requires devotion and discipline. A garden unattended will quickly be covered and overcome with weeds. Instead, grow spiritually and go for the best with God.